Not to sound conceited, but I have a lot of friends.
We’ve shared intimate details about our lives on Facebook. We’ve tweeted interesting articles and quotes on more than one occasion. I congratulated you on your new job via LinkedIn. I’ve listened to your podcast and emailed you about how it changed my life.
In fact, there are literally thousands of you out there who I know by name, whose paths have crossed mine, whose stories I care a heckuva lot about.
And yet, despite the constant sense of being connected—I’ve struggled a lot lately with the concept of loneliness.
To be 100% transparent, I’ve felt the loneliness descending upon me like a rather dark cloud since Paleo F(X) last March, because at that event, for the first time in a long time, I was truly not alone. And it opened my eyes to the fact that, when I returned to California, my social network would go back to being almost entirely virtual.
And the world is a lonely place when the only hugs you can give have hashtags in front of them.
I can trace my current struggles with compulsive eating to that moment when I got on the plane and left a piece of my heart in Austin, Texas. Especially now, post-car accident and telecommuting, I’m more connected to my social media world and less connected to my physical social network than ever before.
And lacking the ability to sit down and steal a bite of your meal or share a scoop of coconut ice cream with you, lacking the ability to offer to carry your bag while you stop to tie your shoe, lacking the ability to find a playground and engage in a little spontaneous primal play with you, lacking the ability to physically reach out and hold your hand when you tell me that you’re scared and lonely too—I have never felt more outside of my body.
I think today’s Finding Our Podcast guest, Becky Bateson, really nailed it when she explained how her recovery from an eating disorder involved recovering from a sense of loneliness. It’s amazing how, even on this journey to find better nutrition, we can still be so horribly deficient in the physical, emotional, and spiritual connections that truly nourish us and help us grow.
Over the past several weeks, loneliness has come up in multiple conversations with disordered eaters and exercisers (over the web, the phone, and text), and I’m interested to hear if you, dear reader, are struggling with a nutrient deficiency caused by an excess of loneliness too. How do you cope with a sense of isolation? How has it affected your battle to shut out the ED in your head?
Let me know in the comments below, and then make sure to connect with Becky by visiting Finding Our Hunger and listening to today’s podcast.