I’ll admit it: I didn’t sing yesterday.
It’s been a very bad week, a week full of stress and bad tidings, thwarted plans, and exhaustion. It all caught up with me on Friday morning around 9:30 am…I was sitting in Starbucks (where I do my telecommuting) and drinking my usual green tea when I felt the overwhelming urge to sneeze…And then I realized that it wasn’t sneezing I needed to do. Suffice it to say, I lost my breakfast, and after that experience, I didn’t feel much like singing.
Is it illness or stress? I don’t know. I’ve never had such a strange experience. All I know is that I don’t want to repeat it again.
Part of the reason why this week was so difficult was because I felt like I needed to reach out and talk to someone, but didn’t have the energy. Have you ever had that experience? The intense desire to speak to someone–desperately, immediately speak to someone, anyone–coupled with the need to be alone–truly alone–and both at the same time? (I’m reminded in this instance of little kids who get upset and retreat to their rooms, making sure to cry extra loudly until someone comes to comfort them, just so they can say, “Go away!”)
I’m fortunate that I have been able to build a community of people who I can not only trust but also trust to reach out when they sense I need to talk. For those of you out there who know when ED (or his brothers stress & depression) is doing his darnedest to make a reappearance, I am incredibly grateful.
I also realize that many of you out there don’t yet feel like you have that support system. That you’re crying out for help or connection or a hug or the knowledge that someone understands, but still unable to speak your truth–because you’re not ready, because you don’t have a support system, because you’re afraid or ashamed…
I urge you to go and read this post by my friend Kelly at Fearless Nutrition. It might be the start of the mindset shift you need to be able to start speaking your truths and find the connection that you need to begin healing.